Meanwhile, Personally

While we were tackling this nightmare rehab that was our first, we also had a one year old baby girl at home and a marriage that had to endure the strain of the financial and emotional blows that come with such a steep learning curve.

It was rough, let me tell you. I’ve heard often that it is a true test of a marriage to build or renovate your own house. Well, I would agree to an extent – but to risk your entire life’s savings on a project that is close to completely ruining you? That is a new level.

We struggled. There was a breakdown in communication and resentment started to build up. We weren’t sleeping through the night yet – Emily’s first year molars were coming in at one point and she started to have some of her first nightmares. If we weren’t physically exhausted from lack of sleep related to that, we were mentally exhausted by trying to figure out how to crawl out of the hole we were in with that house. On top of that, I was working a demanding full time job and leading a local chapter of the Road Runners of America – a running club in our county. Steven was also working full time and was facing some back issues.

We had such a hard time turning our brains off of panic mode day and night for the entire 11 months (YES it took that long for this rehab – like I said, it was rough).

We were excited at first, thinking this was going to be such a great turn around. We had the promise of the vendors who were willing to work with us to bring the price down so the after repair value would not get overshadowed by the rehab costs, and the idea of bringing this 1940’s home back to life was exciting! Then everything went downhill.

There were arguments about money, about decisions made on the contractors and subcontractors, about if we should just cut our losses and sell it, and pretty much about everything life could throw at us. With the added stress, everything was a trigger. How did we survive it? Sheer will power, I am pretty sure. I put my head down and focused on the finish line for this project. We got creative with financing and both dedicated ourselves to making it out alive, basically. We both were being pulled in every different direction except for the direction we needed to be focused on – ourselves as a team and as a family. This led to some serious fall outs and poor decisions in our real estate journey, but I hope that we have come out wiser on the other side. Looking back, we can see how our wires got crossed… and we have realized that it is just fine to hit the pause button and accept that we need to wait on making a decision because we aren’t on the same page.

Have you renovated with your significant other before? How did it go?

Any fellow runners out there? Do you run for your health or for specific goals – or both?

What are your best tips for keeping the communication lines open in your relationship?